Athlete Parents

Lately the Stockholm based newspaper DN has been publishing a series of articles about girls who have been pushed too hard in gymnastics. It's been a growing problem in Sweden that both parents and coaches push kids too hard in whatever sport they're doing. So far that they don't enjoy it any more.

I think this is pointless. If the motif for pushing the kids is that they'll make great athletes, it doesn't hold up in the end. Children want parents who cheer for them, not who get mad at them if they don't perform. After a certain point, they're going to lose interest in the activity.

I think it's wrong by parents and coaches to complain about the child's performance in a way that it seems they've only done something wrong, but at the same time these people can help if the child wants to get better at what they're doing. Of course that's a coach's job: to give the child the tools to get better at something they think is fun. But that's where the line goes. It has to be what the child wants, not what the parents want. Sometimes it's easy to forget why we do a sport, and that's when we have to think who it actually is for.

Here's an article adressing the issue from January 2012.

Please tell me what you think about this in the comments!

Helicopter parents

You're probably wondering what a helicopter parent is. The expression was coined in the book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay. It means that the parent is constantly hovering over its child, seeing to its smallest needs. They are never hard to reach, no matter what the child wants. In Scandinavia the term curling parent has the same meaning. The parents are constantly sweeping away their child's problems, never making them have to deal with anything.

I've chosen the name Helicopter Parents for my blog because it's the closest thing I can find to a word that describes the problem I want to discuss. Parents are trying to help their children, but are at the same time hurting them by not teaching them how to deal with problems. Another related topic that I'm going to discuss is parents who live through their children. In school, sports or job, there are cases where parents are pushing their kids too hard. It's hard to know what motivates the parents, or how the children feel about it. This is what I'll be talking about here for the next few weeks.